Five Tips for Being an Effective Advocate for Your Child
I’ve been following the good work of Debbie Reber, founder and CEO of Tilt Parenting and author of Differently Wired. I really appreciate the insight that she shares on how to advocate for our children. A recent email she sent struck me as especially valuable to our community. The following is being shared with permission from Debbie.
I've had a bunch of speaking gigs in the past few weeks, mostly to groups of parents raising neurodivergent kids. Attendees come to these talks grateful to be among other parents who understand what they're going through. They also come with a lot of questions, which I love.
One of the questions I often get asked is how we can better advocate for our kids (in school, extracurriculars, athletics, and so on). And I appreciate that question because I know that advocating for our kids can often feel somewhere in the range of uncomfortable to unbearable.
Yet there is so much power and possibility in our advocacy. Not only can it improve systems, situations, and environments for our kids, but our standing up for what our kids need pays it forward to every differently-wired child who follows in our child's footsteps.
Here are 5 of my best tips for being effective advocates in a way that has the potential to shift the paradigm:
1. Stay calm and grounded
Before you have an important conversation (or send emails, etc.), ensure you are calm and grounded.
2. Assume "best intent" in the other parties
Remember that people don’t know what they don’t know.
3. Approach others with compassion and empathy
I know this is not always easy, but it can completely change the conversation's tenor and, as a result, the outcome.
4. Collaborate
Have a collaborative problem-solver mentality (a.k.a. don’t take no for an answer.)
5. Focus on the goal
Stay focused on the goal and hoped-for outcome, namely, your child being seen, respected, and supported.
By following these five tips, you can become a more effective advocate for your child. These strategies not only enhance communication and foster positive relationships but also help create an environment where your child is truly seen, respected, and supported. Remember, advocacy is a journey, and each step you take with intention and care has the potential to shift the paradigm and bring about meaningful change.
Thank you to Debbie Reber for sharing her insights and expertise with us.
Meet Debbie Reber:
Debbie Reber (MA) is a parenting activist, bestselling author, podcast host, and speaker.
A certified Positive Discipline trainer and a regular contributor to Psychology Today and ADDitude Magazine, Debbie’s most recent book is Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World. In November 2018, she spoke at TEDxAmsterdam (Why the Future Will Be Differently Wired), and in 2020, she co-created the Parenting in Place Masterclass series.
Prior to launching Tilt, Debbie spent more than 15 years writing inspiring books for women and teens, speaking about media literacy, self-esteem, and confidence, and consulting for clients like the Girl Scouts and the Disney Channel. The parent of a twice-exceptional young adult, Debbie created Tilt in 2016 to help frustrated and stuck parents chart a path that feels positive and hopeful for the whole family.
Connect with Debbie Reber at her website, Tilt Parenting, or on Facebook and Instagram. Listen to her top-rated parenting podcast, Tilt Parenting Podcast. Read her book, Differently Wired.