Sophomore Year - Another Year, Another Meeting
The following blog post was written by special education advocate Robin Beauchemin.
Welcome to my nine-part blog series! My name is Robin Beauchemin, and I am a mom to an amazing young man with dyslexia. In this blog, I will tell the story of our journey which started with a diagnosis of ADHD in 2nd grade and continued with a diagnosis of dyslexia in 8th grade.
This is the seventh blog of a nine-part blog series and continues from…
Groundhog Day! Another start of a new school year. Another round of uncertainty and anxiety. Another year of false hope….. Why is this so hard to figure out? We have a great understanding of your learning profile. And you are such a likeable kid. So, what exactly was happening throughout your day that was making you so unhappy?
Here we were again with our billionth+ IEP meeting. This time though, I was smarter. I had spent the last two years taking every single webinar or zoom presentation I could find that related to advocacy and dyslexia. I read books; I reached out to friends that had been down the same road. I read and reread your evaluations. I was so empowered and determined to find the answer I had been searching for.
I proposed that the district send you for an Independent Educational Evaluation. Specifically, I wanted a comprehensive speech and language evaluation. Was there a barrier with your language that perhaps was making it difficult for you to fit in? Naturally, the district said no. Alright… I was used to the word NO at this point. What was offered instead was a 15-minute monthly appointment with the new school counselor. Wait, what? You think anyone can unpack years’ worth of school trauma in 15 minutes once a month? Most likely not, but let’s see if these 15 minutes change your world….
Fast forward about 6 weeks. Your world didn’t change. Not even a little. In fact, we were back to school refusal. Lots of headaches and stomach aches. All back with a vengeance. Great. Now what? I can say with absolute certainty that this private school thing was not the answer we had been looking for. But what is the answer? We MUST find it.
I’ll never forget this day. I received a phone call from the school’s special education coordinator, who I was still very unsure of. She said, “Just hear me out because I know this is going to make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. What if we move him back in district with a 1:1 OG tutor?” OG stands for “Orton Gillingham” and is an approach to reading for a dyslexic learner. Little did she know I had already thought about moving him back, but I didn’t let her know that. Instead, I told her I’d think it over. We scheduled a meeting to talk about it. My mind was so conflicted.
During our meeting she explained that he would be put in as many academic special education classes as he thought he needed. We agreed upon Social Studies, Science and English. His math class would be co-taught (special education and regular education teacher) and most importantly – a certified OG 1:1 tutor. Honestly, this was better than he was getting from the private school. Plus, he’d have access to shop class. His hobby had become woodworking, and he was quite good at it. Welp, we took another leap of faith. PLEASE let this be it.
My son jumped at the opportunity and started back in the district, at the very large high school in January of his 10th grade year. This meant he got to be with his younger brother. He got to be a normal kid by taking the bus, having a normal school schedule and having many more opportunities that the private school just didn’t offer.
He immediately bonded with the shop teacher, math teacher and OG tutor. He started strong, but then the social problems surfaced. Here we were again. Scrambling because this wasn’t the answer, either. He managed to make it to the end of the school year but had many absences that year. I was ready to wake up from this nightmare any time now. Can this still be happening?!
Junior Year: The “Home” Stretch
I’m sick of this Groundhog Day crap. I think by year 11 I was starting to lose my positive attitude. We have exactly two more school years, 360 school days to figure this out. But wow, we are quickly running out of time. All those older people who told me to enjoy it because it goes by so fast, yeah – I guess you weren’t kidding. Anyway, onward and upward – mostly because there isn’t another choice.
Remember the special education coordinator that I was unsure of? I am now sure that she is the most PHENOMENAL school employee I’ve ever had the pleasure to work with. She instantly fell in love with my son. She even supported his side business by purchasing a dog silhouette made of wood from him. She was what we needed 11 years ago. And although I’m sad she’s just walking into our lives now; SHE was the answer we needed; I think.
Long story short, December came and here we were again with the headaches and the stomach aches. Lots of “I don’t feel good”, lack of sleep, spending a lot of time in his room alone. This was in stark contrast to every summer when school wasn’t in session and meant one thing – We didn’t find what works for him yet. BUT, for the first time in the history of history, I felt supported by my school district.
Back to the state education website I go, searching for alternatives. Homebound… Hmmm, what is homebound? 10 hours of 1:1 instruction per week. I like the 1:1 part. It can be done at home, at the library, or virtually. If we remove the trauma of the social piece, maybe he can find that success we’ve been so desperate to find. He does well with older adults, but kids his age make him anxious – minus the few friends he has.
My first call was to his pediatrician. I needed her support on this because she needs to fill out a form advocating for homebound instruction. She has always been very supportive. She has a child with a severe learning disability, so she just gets it. She was 100% on board and filled out the form. I took it to our sped coordinator who once again: no excuses were made, no deflection, no making me feel like “that parent”. It took a week or so and he was approved! Then the anxiety started for me – Lord, PLEASE let this work. It felt like every avenue was a leap of faith and I was never 100% sure it was the right leap. But we’ve tried private school, extra support in a public school….. What else could I find that could get this kiddo through just two more years of school?
The results were immediate! The dark clouds went away, and the rainbows and unicorns were abundant. I wasn’t getting too excited though. We were still in the honeymoon period.
His OG tutor was still the same, which was a good thing because she is a huge part of his success. He had a social studies and math tutor. Independent health and the best shop teacher in the history of shop teachers. He maintained his grades. His sense of humor came back. He STOPPED isolating in his room. His smile that I had missed for so many years was beaming for the first time in a long time. Life.was.good again.
The rest of his 11th grade year was a breeze. It was so nice functioning like a regular family again. We were all sleeping sound again. Up next, SENIOR year. I can’t believe we are here.
Senior Celebrations
This is the final blog of the nine-part series.
Groundhog Day, again. But this time I wasn’t dreading it because I thought it’d be a tough year – but because my little boy, the kid that made me a mom and taught me so much about myself, was about to enter his senior year of high school. And I’m dreading the day that he grows up and moves out. The one positive from this nightmare we had been living is that it has brought us very close. He’s been my hiking buddy, lunch buddy, grocery shopping buddy…. He’s just always there.
He’s continuing his tutoring at the library. He has a very light schedule: OG, math, independent health, shop class and independent gym. Second semester will be even lighter. OG. That’s it!
One important thing to understand is the gap that being identified as a dyslexic learner so late in life can leave. For example, when he was identified in 8th grade, he was reading at a 5th grade level. That means he was 3 years behind. Now as a 12th grader, he is reading at a 10th grade level, which means he is still 2 years behind. Put that all together and that means in the 4 years since he has been receiving intensive remediation, he’s closed only one year of that gap. And not for lack of trying – this kid has been working incredibly hard. Harder than most adult’s work. His resilience and motivation are admirable.
In summary, this kid has been knocked down more times than most adults. And he NEVER gave up. Buddy, I am beyond proud of the young man you’ve become. You have taught me that advocacy is in my blood. You have forced me out of my own comfort zone and inspired me to take courses on dyslexia and advocacy which led me to start my own LLC. I am now a proud member of Right to Read Advocacy, working hard to help that desperate parent I once was. You are an amazing young man with a very bright future ahead of you. I couldn’t be happier.
To his special education coordinator, OG tutor, high school shop teachers, middle school guidance counselor and reading academy teachers: THANK YOU! Thank you for believing in him and lifting him up when he was down. And of course, a very, very special thanks to his special education coordinator for dealing with all of my emails and phone calls. We would never be here without your continued support. You are one of a kind.
To my bestie, never in a million years would I have been able to deal with this without having you by my side. You always had this sense of calmness with every crying phone call. And you always loved my son as if he were your own.
To my mom and dad who did everything you could to support us when we needed it. And of course for loving him unconditionally.
To his best friend and fishing buddy, you too are an amazing young man, and I am so thankful for you. Thank you for always allowing him to lean on you and just being there when his world was falling apart.
Robin Beauchemin is a non-attorney special education advocate serving clients throughout the state of Connecticut.